Has Keith Helped Me to Turn the Corner?

23 Nov

Keith is leaving early tomorrow morning.  What brilliant timing for a visit.  Although any visit at any time from Keith would be amazing.  He’s just that sort of guy.  And I have the luck to be his brother-in-law … and he’s left me in better shape than when he arrived.

With regard to “turning the corner” – that’s a complicated matter.  Geometrically it might be a great analogy.  My clinical condition continues to deteriorate in a downward straight line.  My movement is miniscule and I spend most of my day (and night) in my reclining couch.  So we’d have to turn a corner for any dramatic change.  But you know my philosophy: life is a continuous cycle, going round and round.  We just don’t know whether we’re at the bottom, ready to swing back up, or vice versa.

The signs are pretty ominous, although each sign may well be one more crutch.  “Wheelchair” sounded bad, but it serves me well in getting to the beach and enjoying nature.  “Oxygen” sounds even worse, but having the admin behind us and a cannister on call (for the odd puff now and again) certainly makes for common sense.  “Morphine” sounds as low as one can go.  But using the right-sized patch has proven a blessing.

So, who knows?  At least I’ve still got the patience to wait and see – and to wait for Keith’s next visit.

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20 Responses to “Has Keith Helped Me to Turn the Corner?”

  1. Tzippi November 25, 2012 at 4:08 pm #

    Thank G-d for Keith! Martin, we are cheer leading you on to turning that corner. You are in our thoughts, our prayers and our hearts!

  2. Gary Hall November 25, 2012 at 4:17 pm #

    As long as there is breath in the body, there is hope. Stay in the fight. There are plenty of people in your corner.

  3. Libby November 25, 2012 at 4:19 pm #

    Hello
    I’m glad to hear you sound more upbeat. Here’s wishing for a corner – or even a hairpin bend!

  4. Adina November 25, 2012 at 4:29 pm #

    Your blog is an eye opener for me. I have only read part of it – t is helping me understand what is going on in my aunt’s mind. She is also dealing with pancreatic cancer. Whenever we visit her, she does her hair and makeup and looks her very best, gives out compliments, and sounds cheerful and full of hope. That is proving to be very good medicine for her and her visitors. But she never reveals how she feels and what she thinks. Your blog is helping me understand that. Thank you for sharing that. I am davening that you will bh pull through this difficult time and enter a lengthy up period of time, as you have in the past, with your will and the warmth and support of your close family members. All the best.

  5. Amy November 25, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

    Keep up the fight and keep inspiring us to turn corners!

  6. Yael November 25, 2012 at 5:09 pm #

    Hi there, Martin! We briefly met at Tzippi when Pam presented her book, FTLOGAV, which it so happens, I finally read (what took me so long?) and I finished it last night. So Pam and you have been in my thoughts a lot lately, even if you have no idea who I am.
    I am amazed at your blog writings and yes, you are an inspiration to me!
    Count me in with your other cheerleaders! Yael

  7. Reisy Stern November 25, 2012 at 6:07 pm #

    Martin, what a battle! I am with you with your struggle and sending you my best wishes, prayers and healing thoughts! May you feel G-d’s presence within the tunnel, and see the light at the end of the tunnel!

  8. angiemaus November 26, 2012 at 7:30 am #

    Wishing Keith a safe trip home and wishing you a better week darling Mart. Keep fighting and keep writing. Love you xxx

  9. Ester November 26, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    You do not know me but I know one of your caring friends. Like terror, cancer has affected the lives of almost everyone. Your website helps give support to others deal with the onslaught. Stay strong, Ester

  10. Leviah W. November 26, 2012 at 9:01 am #

    Hi there martin! Your blog is full of beauty, strength and truth! How wonderful! Im amazed of ur strength to go on with life, not knowing where it leads you next, what corner it’ll make you turn… You give us all strength, inspiration and hope! May g-d give you more strength and health every day to keep on going in happiness and strengthen others by hearing you…
    All the best. G-d is with you! 🙂

  11. Shira November 26, 2012 at 10:59 am #

    Martin – wishing you many more special times with Keith, as well as will other familiar faces and maybe even some new ones…..Shira

  12. Shilana November 26, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

    Your stories are inspiring and I hope that continue to share with us your experiences , as you see life from a whole different perspective, with a greater appreciation for it. May Hashem bless you each day with goodness.

  13. Dani November 26, 2012 at 8:16 pm #

    Martin, Tzippi led me to you and your blog. My experience with pancreatic cancer is that it took my mom too soon. My other experience is that she was given only a few months to live but in fact survived for 5 years past the time the experts predicted (with only the last few months being of poor quality). So, as you’ve so eloquently stated, you never know where exactly you are in the cycle – even when you supposedly do. On the weirder side, my brother has what I think is a rather unique view of the malady we’re all eventually consigned to – namely, that it’s the one thing you really only get to experience once and while he’s not pushing for it he is, in an odd sort of way, really curious. I’m not sure if curiosity can overcome the sadness of loss or fear of the unknown but I would imagine that at some point, perhaps we’ll call it the point of even your sensing no return, allowing curiosity – the emotion that allows us to create and be the most G-d-like – can act as a metaphorical North Star in what may in fact be a new adventure. Since my mom’s passing, this has been my abiding philosophy and is reflected in an article I wrote about the matter called, “Witnessing the Birth of a Soul.” http://bit.ly/SlzRJd May the love of your family and friends sustain and guide you on your journey. – Dani

  14. Rutie Oren November 26, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

    i just spoke to your darling wife and I am hoping to see the both of you tomorrow- I wish I could bring a shopping bag of magic powers and do hocus spocus and turn you into a healthy person- something like the Iron Dome that could shoot all those cancer cells! Hang in there- I am sure some genius is working on it so in the meantime I will bring you bubble bath for your baths and hopefully make you smile to relieve the pain and let you know that there is a “Lion” out there that is praying and roaring for you to get through this! Hugs Rutie Oren and the Lions of Judah

  15. Behrouz Soroudi November 27, 2012 at 1:10 am #

    Martin, my name is Behrouz Soroudi and I live in Los Angeles. I don’t know you but I know that you are suffering from a difficult condition, so I thought of dropping you a note. I just want you to know that lots of people are cheering and praying for you. Maybe our prayers help your medical condition and maybe they don’t, but one thing is certain: at the end of the day, what really makes life worth living is the number and the quality of people who care for you. And judging by the people who are surrounding you and how much they care, you are a very lucky man indeed. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  16. Shulamis Charlop November 27, 2012 at 7:15 am #

    I read your blog passed on through a friend of yours and I just want to let you know that I am in awe of your courage and perseverance. May you see great miracles and compassion everywhere you turn. Remember you have been “chosen” for this test and seem to be passing with flying colors. Hang in there—life is worth all the fight you have in you. Looking forward to hearing more.

  17. Estelle November 27, 2012 at 7:57 am #

    It seems to me that you are right – your patience is a huge force. Lots of love to all of you.

    • Sharon Kanon November 27, 2012 at 10:16 am #

      Reading your Blog, I see that you are an incredibly upbeat person, despite the obvious challenges. What a gift your are giving to your family and friends! And, you are so fortunate to have such a doting, caring family at your side. Please G-d, you will make it to the next medical breakthrough.
      Sharon

  18. susanavitzour November 28, 2012 at 6:33 am #

    I don’t know why my previous comment doesn’t appear. What I said was how much I admire your ability to find the good and the beautiful in the world despite the incredible and difficult challenges with which you’re faced. May g-d grant you and all who love you much strength and love in your road ahead.

  19. Renee Cohen November 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    Go for it Martin-We are all cheering you on!
    Love to all
    Renee and the Cohens

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